Before Facebook, we all only SUSPECTED that fast food workers were effing with our food.  Now we know they DEFINITELY are.

--Over the weekend, a KFC employee in Johnson City, Tennessee posted a photo on Facebook of herself at work . . . LICKING the top of a large tray of mashed potatoes.

--KFC says that those potatoes were never served to customers . . . but that's not really the point.  The photo makes you question whether YOU'VE ever gotten licked mashed potatoes at KFC.

--The employee was fired, and KFC's corporate office says they sent a quality assurance team to the location to, quote, "reinforce and retrain [employees] on KFC's high operating standards."

I'm assuming this doesn't happen in Rochester because most KFC's here have changed to Chinese restaurants or Verizon stores.

We, like everyone else in the community, was sad to learn of the passing of Grace Esposito, the 17 month old baby of WHAM 13's Jennifer Johnson Esposito and her husband Vinnie.  Click HERE to read the story of the medically challenged miracle baby, and be prepared to be touched listening to this emotional tribute to the baby by Jennifer's coworkers Doug Emblidge, Norma Holland, Evan Dawson, etc...

In the movie "Warm Bodies", a male zombie falls in love with a girl.  So maybe being a member of the walking undead isn't so bad after all.  Here are the Top Best Things About Being a Zombie.

--When you don't have as much flesh to penetrate with the needle, the heroin high hits so much faster.

--You can't die.  Physically, that is.  Emotionally, we all died when Justin Timberlake got married.

--There is no better way to wipe that grin off the Exxon cashier charging you an arm and a leg for gas than actually handing him your arm and your leg.

--Your glaring lack of mobility will get you signed by the Lakers.

--People might think you're on that hit AMC show with all the lifeless characters.  What's it called?  Oh, yeah:  "Mad Men".

--Uh, hello?  Rotting flesh = money saved on moisturizer.

--Living a vacant-eyed, emotionless existence is a great way to find out if you're ready for the married life.

--You have an excuse for mindlessly shambling through the mall.

--You can sign autographs as Nick Nolte and nobody knows the difference.

--Under Obamacare, death is a pre-existing condition.

--Since you're already dead, even Ray Lewis can't kill you.

--Having your own hit TV show is pretty dope.

--People taste just like chicken.

--You get to eat all day, every day, and LOSE weight.

--It's not a hot tub party . . . it's SOUP!

--If they ever make a biopic of Keith Richards, you're a shoo-in for the lead.

--Being half-dead and riddled with festering wounds does NOTHING to diminish your chances of having sex with Lindsay Lohan.

--When people see you lurching around erratically, they frequently run up and beg to be part of the HILARIOUS "Harlem Shake" YouTube video they assume you're shooting.

 --Eat all the red meat you want and never have to worry about taking Lipitor.

--Since you're already dead, spending a Saturday shopping with your wife can't do anything more to you.

--That Cranberries song about you never gets old.

--The American school system ensures a steady supply of brains that are never used.

--Obama's push for gun control will make it even harder to be killed.

--You're actually happy when someone says "I'm gonna give you a piece of my mind!"

--Compared to the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills", you look quite life-like.

--Brains are a nutritious part of a gluten-free, low-carb diet.

--If people ask why you smell like rotting flesh, it's fun to tell them that you're from France.

--Because you move slowly, have a tragic look on your face, and grunt . . . you can always find work as a Starbucks barista.

While you were watching the Grammys, Courtney Stodden and her father were busy taking these pictures that will probably scar you for life. You've been warned.

Sunday night was the release party for Courtney Stodden's new single.

 

Source: FameFlynet Pictures

Which one wears underwear that glows to, of course.

 

Source: FameFlynet Pictures

It's a happy occasion, so you wouldn't think it out of the ordinary to see Courtney and her dad hugging...

 

Source: FameFlynet Pictures

...and kissing...

 

Source: Josiah True / WENN.com

...and, uh, whatever this is:

 

Source: Russ Einhorn / Splash News

Just a normal teenage girl hanging out with her dad.

 

Source: Josiah True / WENN.com

Time for a palate cleanser and a costume change! Here's Courtney with her husband Doug.

 

Source: FameFlynet Pictures

Just kidding, that's not much of a palate cleanser.

 

Source: FameFlynet Pictures

And now that you know her father and husband were in attendance, neither is this photo of Courtney dancing around in a cage.

 

According to our gossip breaking news buddies at TMZ,Kate Upton has nailed the cover spot on the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition due out Monday evening. Nina Agdal was another model rumored for the top spot, so if this 'leaked' cover image may be a ruse on the part of SI... not that Kate Upton isn't deserving of massive adoration for her massive massives. Either way, well deserved.

TMZ was the site to capture photos of Kate shooting in the Antarctic at the end of last year, in preparation for the SI magazine spread, so, we must give them some credence on this all-important, life or death matter.

Either way, the official announcement will be made during the traditional David Letterman Show taping.

A ROGUE tattooist who inked 56 stars on a teen girl's face has caused a write fuss again - after signing his name in giant letters across his girlfriend's face less than 24 hours after they met.

Controversial Rouslan Toumaniantz became notorious when he inscribed a galaxy of stars over the face of Kimberley Vlaeminck, then just 18, in his studio in Coutrai, Belgium.

Now Toumaniantz has struck again by tattooing his Christian name in lettering five inches high across another girl's face.

Happy ... Lesya wishes Rouslan would tattoo 'every inch of her body'

 

Lesya Toumaniantz, from Saransk, Russia, allowed him to sign the alternative spelling "Ruslan" over her face in huge Gothic script on the day they got together.

The pair - who'd met online - now say they plan to wed and Lesya has already changed her surname to Toumaniantz on Facebook.

"It's a symbol of our eternal devotion. I'd like him to tattoo every inch of my body," she said.

The tattoo-mad former art student whose sister is also a tattoo artist added that above her eyebrow he had written All For Love in English.

"All for Rouslan," she posted on her Facebook today next to a big pink heart.

And now Lesya who has already taken Toumaniantz’s name despite only being engaged since January 20 is learning to tattoo under his tutorship.

"Their plans for a life together include her learning to tattoo while she also gets the full-body ink that she’s always dreamed of — and of course a family," said a friend of Toumaniantz.

He added: "I know that there are people who are terrified that Lesya has made a rash decision that she’ll regret horribly, but sometimes the best decisions are the ones you make in an instant.

 

Rouslan fled Belgium in 2009 after the scandal caused by his work on Kimberley - who at first claimed Rouslan had carried out the work on her face when she was ASLEEP.

She said at the time: "It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible."

The mortified teen attempted to sue Rouslan but was forced to drop her suit after admitting she had in fact asked for all 56 stars to be inked in - but had lied about falling asleep as her dad was furious with her.

Rouslan is unrepentant about work on either Kimberley or Lesya. He said on Facebook: "I have like 25 face tattoos since Kimberley's case, and don't feel I did anything wrong during the Kimberley affair.

"And I don't think I have done anything wrong today. I'm in love. We are in love."

If you’re looking for a pet, but want something that your friends might find slightly disturbing, put down that ferret catalog, because this is the animal for you!

Tonik is a Poodle/Shih Tzu mix who somehow got the face of a person. Look at his face. It’s like you simultaneously want to give him a hug and also stick your hand in a frying pan. Tonik was rescued from a Kentucky kill shelter and is now in Indiana.

If you’re interested in adopting Tonik, the Homeward Bound Animal Welfare Group requires you to pick him up, because they want to meet you and make sure you’re not going to Michael Vick the little guy.

It might even look a little like our friend Willie...

Selena Gomez is trying to sexy up her image a little by being in a Harmony Korine movie where she’s in her bikini the entire time—and it's working!

So it is only natural that in this heavily promoted bikini heavy movie that the pics from her fitting would surface. And with all bikinis that are one size too small…there’s a lot of vaginal definition going on.

Some may call it a cameltoe…I call it glorious enough to break the internet.

She’s an inny.  Click on the thumbnails for larger pics.

15. Carrie Dew

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: married to All-Pro offensive tackle Joe Staley

Carrie Dew’s Wikipedia page says she’s currently signed with Sky Blue FC, but her Twitter feed says she’s retired, so I’ll go with Twitter. I assume that she decided the grind of playing women’s pro soccer wasn’t really worth the terrible money now that she’s married to a millionaire football player. Yeah, I know athletes don’t do it for money, but that’s exactly my point: since she’s rich now, she can just play for free wherever she wants.

14. Candace Williams

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: married to Pro Bowl linebacker Terrell Suggs

Despite the fact that Williams has previously accused Suggs of throwing a soap dispenser at her head, threatening to pour bleach on her head, and punching and dragging her alongside a moving car, she nevertheless decided to tie the knot with the father of her two children back in December.

Man, I hope this doesn’t end badly.

13. Christina Ngata

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: married to 5x All-Pro defensive end Haloti Ngata

Good-looking wife, adorable kid, cute dogs, and a 5-year $61 million contract? Haloti Ngata is living the American Dream.

12. Dana Grady

 

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: married to the underrated Joe Flacco

Yes, I do think Joe Flacco is underrated. He’s not a superstar, but the guy has started every single regular season game in his 5-year NFL career and has taken the Ravens to the playoffs every season. Moreover, they’ve always won at least one game, have been to the AFC Championship Game twice, and now are in the Super Bowl. What more could you want from your quarterback? (Yes, I know, a championship. But that may come.)

11. Deidra Dorsey

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: girlfriend (probably) of rookie linebacker Courtney Upshaw

This relationship is not “official.” However, there is Twitter evidence that suggests they’ve been a couple since before the NFL draft last winter.

Thanks to playerwives.com for doing the digging.

10. Racine Lewin

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: girlfriend of tight end Delanie Walker

Delanie Walker didn’t go to a big school (Central Missouri) and he isn’t a big star in the NFL. But he has been collecting a nice NFL paycheck for 6 years now, and he’s got a pretty okay-looking girlfriend…who is a model. So he’s going alright.

9. Sarah and Ingrid Harbaugh

Team: 49ers and Ravens

Significant Other: the Harbaugh brothers

The outcome of the actual Harbaugh Bowl has yet to be decided, but the outcome of the Harbaugh WAG Bowl is in the books: in my opinion, little brother Jim beat his brother John by about a touchdown.

That’s Jim’s wife, Sarah Harbaugh, on the left. On the right it’s John’s wife, Ingrid Harbaugh.

What do you think?

8. Elizabeth Barry Smith

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: former starting quarterback Alex Smith

You want to know the real reason why 49ers fans never warmed up to Alex Smith? It had nothing to do with his play. Instead, it’s beacuse he married a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader.

That’s just not right. (Though yes, she is hot.)

7. Corban Fennell

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: ex-girlfriend (probably) of starting quarterback Colin Kaepernick

Perhaps you say an ex-girlfriend shouldn’t be on this list. But I say, when the ex-girlfriend looks like this, she sure as hell is going to be on the list. And besides, you never know, they may get back together.

6. Toccara Jones

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: girlfriend of Pro Bowl offensive tackle Bryan McKinnie

This former contestant on America’s Next Top Model (and current model/singer/actress/TV personality) has had her fluctuating weight scrutinized over the years, which has to suck. But whatever, she’s still gorgeous. Plus, she seems to have herself a supportive boyfriend in Bryant McKinnie, so good for her.

5. Sarah Hinton

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: girlfriend of rookie tight end Garrett Celak

Garrett Celak went undrafted in 2012 and signed with the 49ers in May as an undrafted free agent. And while he didn’t do all that much this year (4 receptions for 51 yards), he’s got an All-Pro girlfriend in Sarah Hinton. She’s a former Hooters Girl, don’t you know. Miss July 2012, to be precise.

4. Adrianna Birk

Team: Ravens

Significant Other: married to All-Pro center Matt Birk

This year, Roman Catholic Harvard grad Matt Birk wrote an Op-Ed against gay marriage partially in response to the piece written by his former teammate, Chris Kluwe. But whether or not you agree with his position, you have to admire the man for putting his money where his mouth is. Because you see, Matt and his wife Adrianna have 6 kids.

3. Tiffany Hughley

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: girlfriend of wide receiver Mario Manningham

Now here’s a strange anomaly. Neither of last year’s Super Bowl teams are in the big game again this year, and yet here at #3 we have a woman who was also on last year’s list of Super Bowl WAGs.

The reason of course is that Mario Manningham, who won Super Bowl XLVI with the Giants, signed with the team the Giants beat in the NFC Championship Game last year—i.e., the 49ers. Now he’s back in the Super Bowl*, and his girlfriend Tiffany is back on this list.

*Well, he’s kind of back in the Super Bowl. He tore his ACL in December, so he won’t be playing. But if the Niners win he gets a ring, so his GF counts.

2. Shenae Saifi

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: engaged to 6x All-Pro linebacker Patrick Willis

Um, wow. Patrick Willis obviously knew that women don’t come much hotter than this, so he decided to lock her into a longterm deal by putting a ring on it. (Her finers, that is.)

Wise choice, my friend.

Anyway, it’s hard to tell what Shenae does, so I’m assuming she’s a full-time football wife.

1. Courtney Eckhart

Team: 49ers

Significant Other: girlfriend of rookie running back LaMichael James

LaMichael James went to Oregon. Courtney Eckhart was a cheerleader at Oregon. Guess how the two met?

Anyway, in case you were wondering, Eckhart was not the woman who filed a domestic assault charge against James back in 2010. That was a former girlfriend, and Eckhart stuck by his side through it all. Now she’s rewarded by being named the hottest WAG of Super Bowl XLVII.

Congratulations, Courtney. I know this must be a huge honor.

Last week, police in Connecticut busted a 71-YEAR-OLD woman for prostitution.  And, to her credit, she really doesn't look that bad.  Usually being a prostitute ages you QUICKLY, but she's holding up alright.  She was busted after placing an ad online for her escort services, then meeting an undercover cop at a hotel and agreeing to have sex for money.