Wease's #1 Squeeze Is Single

Syracuse men's basketball Jim Boeheim didn't confine his comments after his 900th career victory Monday to the happenings on the court. He also spoke about gun control in the United States.  Here's what he said: "If we in this country as Americans cannot get the people who represent us to do something about firearms, we are a sad, sad society.  I've hunted, I'm not talking about rifles, that's fine.  If we can't get this thing done, I don't know what kind of country we have."  Wease loves it but doesn't want to get into it because he thinks we spent too much time on it yesterday.  Changing subjects.. Wease asked Tools when the New York Super Bowl happens.. Tools said that it's at the end of NEXT season.  Wease hopes it snows.. Tools says that he won't like snow because he feels the Super Bowl should be held on a completely neutral playing field and weather should not be a factor.  The rest of us think that a Super Bowl played in a blizzard would actually be a really cool thing to see.

Redneck News (from The Times of Wayne County)

-The Wayne County Office of the Sher­iff reported the arrest on Saturday (12/8) of Clifford R. Mayo, of Naples following an investigation of a fight that occurred at the Hydration Station on Ridge Road in Sodus back in Septem­ber.  It’s al­leged that Mayo, a predicate felon, was involved in a physi­cal dis­turbance with an­other cus­tomer in the store and during that fight, Mayo seriously injured the man by gaug­ing out his eye, causing him to lose all vision in the eye.  It was presented that both men had been drinking prior to their encounter at the store.  Here's the mugshot:

-State Trooper Rob Weston, while on patrol stopped a vehicle on Thursday (12/13) at 2:18 p.m. on state route 441 in Wal­worth af­ter observ­ing the vehicle speeding (62/45).  The vehicle operator, Contrell Duval, age 36, of Sodus was subsequently arrested for Aggravated Unlicensed Op­eration in the 1st Degree and Unlicensed Operation after learning through a DMV inquiry that he currently has 24 suspen­sions and revocations imposed on him.  While conducting an inventory of the vehicle, police located a homemade billy club and Duval was also charged with Criminal Possession of a Weapon 4th Degree.  Here's his mugshot:

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-With TV shows like "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," "Duck Dynasty," "Bayou Billionaires" and others making their way into the hearts and homes of millions of Americans, it appears that the so-called Southern stereotype has found its place in the popular mainstream.  According to TMZ, America's "obsession" with backwoodsmen and women is so pervasive that it is no longer just limited to PG-rated shows.  TMZ spoke with a rep for GameLink.com, who says the company has seen a 250% increase in Southern, white-trashy porn titles since 2010 when the redneck reality shows began to take off.  We're for hillbilly porn if the girls look like this:

..against it if they look like Honey Boo Boo's mom:

Christmas Music

It's Tuesday, December 18th at 7am and Wease says that he's ready to start hearing some Christmas music.  We talked about how the Christmas radio stations like 102.3 Sunny-FM started playing holiday tunes back before Thanksgiving but Wease says that for him it starts today.  Christmas is one week from today and that's about how long he spends in the "Christmas Spirit".  We played a bunch of Christmas songs and talked about which ones are our favorites or not.  It was a good set and to be honest it's tough to translate into this rundown what it sounded like because we were playing music throughout the whole thing.

Comedian Paul Bond

Brother Wease is emcee'ing "The First Night of Funny" at The Auditorium Theater on New Year's Eve (the show will run 8-10pm so you have plenty of time to go out after the show).  One of the comedians on the schedule that night is Paul Bond.  Paul called in this morning to talk to us about the show and tell us about his travels around the country.  He lives in Long Island so Wease talked to him about that a little and about Hurricane Sandy.  Paul is excited to be coming to Rochester in less than 2 weeks!!

13WHAM's Doug Emblidge

-Truckers satisfied by State's decision not to raise tolls

-NY State Trooper pleads guilty in prostitution charges

-Rochester man gets 25 to life for killing roomate

-Newtown holds funerals as school's future debated

Funny Headlines

It's a piece that Wease has been holding onto for a while and decided to whip out today.. there were 25 total of them but here were our top few:

Was 2012 The Best Year Ever?

A British magazine says that if you step back and look at the big picture, 2012 was the best year in human history.  There's never been less starvation, less disease, or more prosperity in the world.. even with economic problems in some first-world countries.  Deaths from disease, natural disasters, and war are down.  People worldwide are living longer, healthier lives than ever.  Wease was critical of this story because to him it seems like the world is at its most violent and that politically we are at our most divided in history.  Wease started to wonder about people like Pauly and Brooksie (the douchbag generation) see this world because to them.. this is normal.  They never grew up when music was music and people weren't shooting up schools.  Instead.. they grew up in a world where that's normal.  Wease is happy that he's as old as he is and is coming to the end of his run because he worries about what the future may hold.

Wease & Jamie's Near Death Experiences

We started out by talking about how a man died while doing "Gangnam Style" at his office Christmas party.  Jamie said that he just wants one thing.. not to die in a way that will make people laugh.  Wease says that he would think that Jamie.. being a comedian.. WOULD want to go out with a laugh.  Jamie says that the actual death can't be funny but he does want to do a goof at his funeral where instead of the casket being open to the top half of his body he wants it open to the bottom half of his body.  Jamie actually did almost die once.. on stage performing comedy.. check this out:

..we laughed our asses off.. and then laughed even more when we remembered the time Wease almost drowned in 3 feet of water:

Pauly Is Crazy

We've made fun of Jamie and Wease and now it's Pauly's turn.  Wease brought up a news article he found with the 5 ways to overcome your fears.  Pauly is obsessive compulsive and has a ton of little quirks like having to touch doorknobs with both hands and having to cross himself anyone someone talks about deadly diseases.  We asked him about his quirks and about what advice he has gotten over the years to fix them.  Pauly said that the fix for the whole "if I don't touch the doorknob with both hands then my mother will die" is to add a time limit to it.. like 10 seconds.  So don't touch the doorknob then wait 10 seconds.. is mom still alive?  Nice.  Now go for 20 seconds.. then 30.. and so on.  As far as overall anxiety or depression.. Pauly says that the trick is just always having something big.. like a vacation.. planned for the near future.

Get Out Of Jail Free Card

Someone called in to tell us that he got a ticket recently despite the fact that he has one of those Sheriff's stickers on his car.  Jamie and Pauly had never heard of that.. but Wease has and says that he knows people that have them.  Basically what they are are stickers that tell anyone who sees it that you are a friend to the law.  People that have them love them.. people that don't have them are pissed that they exist.  Jamie and Pauly heard of a card that you keep in your wallet that you show your officer but we would feel kinda bad using it.  We had an officer call in who told us that the first thing you always ask when you pull someone over with a sticker is where they got it and if you sniff some bull shiz.. it'll just piss you off as a cop.  We also learned that while you may not get a copy of it.. any officer that pulls you over has to write a report on it detailing as close to word for word any conversation you have with them in case it goes to court.

Wease's Penis E-Mail

Wease got an e-mail offering him a new formula that guarantees a stronger, thicker, improved penis.  It was one of those crazy pieces of junk mail.. but still he printed it out and brought it in this morning because he wonders who.. if anyone.. actually clicks on and buys this stuff.  They must right?  Otherwise they wouldn't be around.  Jamie did a Google search for the product and the top result was one that exposed it for being a scam.  Wease feels bad for the guy who buys the pill thinking it will magically make his penis into super-penis.  We heard from a guy who bought the pills because he found out that his wife was using a dildo that was bigger than his unit.

A Woman's "Perfect Man"

Here's some good news fellaz.. no matter how much of a trainwreck you are, you're SOME woman's ideal man.  She just may be WAY younger or older than you.  A new study has found that a woman's definition of the perfect man changes at different points in her life.  There are five different men that women target at different ages.  Check 'em out:

Age 18 to 24 - A woman looks for someone who's physically fit, shares the same taste in music and movies, and impresses her friends.

Age 25 to 34 - Physical attraction and sexual compatibility are most important.  A woman is okay with a guy who doesn't make a ton of money, as long as he's ambitious.

Age 35 to 44 - This is the age where women are most likely to date a YOUNGER or OLDER MAN.  And they want someone with good manners.

Age 45 to 54 - Women want a guy with a HIGH INCOME in this age range more than ever.  But . . . outside of income, they're the LEAST PICKY of any time in their lives.

Age 55 and up - Women over 55 are the pickiest, and want a guy who shares their intelligence, values, and sense of humor.  They also want a guy who knows exactly what to do to them sexually.

Plugs/Tomorrow's Show

The Wease Show Christmahanakwanzika 24 Hour Spectacular istarts this Thursday morning at 6am and goes until Friday at 6am.  The First Night of Funny is at The Auditorium Theater New Year's Eve.  Tomorrow's show is packed.. with planned guests comedienne Vanessa Hollingshead, the new Rochester Razorsharks coach (who we actually don't even know who it is yet.. it's going to be announced today at 3pm), the WWE's Wade Barrett, NY Times obituary writer William McDonald, plus we'll do a brand new episode of "Ask Wease" and much much more.  Until tomorrow.. it's nice to be important.. but it's more important to be nice!!